Well, this is certainly that greener side of the grass, where no one wants to be. If they say, ‘hey, I am never jealous of anyone!’ mostly, it’s a charade. Jealousy comes very naturally to a human being specially now, as we take life as competition from the day we are born. Then we start interrogating ourselves as to-‘why am I jealous? I am not a bad person, then how can I be jealous of somebody?’ But the need to be the flag bearer in the race adds this feature to our nature, where if you cannot beat the person, you will go all the way to create obstacles in his success. It can definitely take an ugly route if not handled aptly. If we assume a hypothetical situation here, where facebook had a ‘jealous’ button and all the members were 100% sincere, the ‘like’ would very soon lose to its half brother ‘jealous’. Our facebook walls are always loaded with someone holidaying at Mauritius, someone getting married, someone buying a Skoda, etc. The chance of one not getting jealous is atypical. Because of this lot of pointless information readily available, one immediately starts comparison with his own life and he enters the shadowy race of self declared competition. Now, he sets a target of buying a Skoda, getting married and going to Mauritius on a honeymoon. Even his dreams are not his own, they are facebook copied! And till he is busy achieving this, those friends have gone far ahead-the Mauritius friend is now going Europe, his Skoda friend is now buying a convertible BMW and his married friend is now giving birth to children. Yet again he feels he is lagging behind, pulls his socks up to join the race again! There will be always someone with a better job, better house, good looks, pretty wife, loving husband, and better holiday locations on and on. And if you think of competing with them, then you will keep hoping from one race to another all your life and thousands of them will keep luring you. Little do we realize that there is no competition in destiny. Now, let’s see how to deal with jealousy. The basic rule expected is to be 100% honest at least with your own self. 1. Stop feeling guilty and accept it instantly. You can deceive everybody but not yourself. When you feel jealous, just say it to yourself. ‘Yes, I am jealous.’ Bring it out of your system. You are actually afraid and ashamed of meeting that bad side of yours, because it is believed that only vamps can be jealous and not the heroines (thanks to the commercial saas bahu sagas). But that is 100% untrue. No, it does not make you a bad person. Pretending that you are not, is what is holding you to come out of it. But simultaneously, don’t pass any bad vibes or judgment to that person. 2.Observe and analyze. Once you have accepted it, you will feel much relieved and now you can work to come out of it. Running away from the fact is what actually kills us inside. Acceptance helps us come to peace with reality. Once you are stable, analyze whether it is really important for you to buy a Skoda, or is it just because your friend has flaunted it on the big screen and you want to exhibit too. 3.Love yourself. Jealousy basically comes out of low self esteem and insecurity, which makes one constantly in the need of approval and love from people which he hunts in the form of ‘likes’ on the social media platform which definitely is not the correct parameter. Simultaneously, he keeps checking on his own flaws and punishes himself for it when he sees somebody better than himself and that’s why he starts disliking that person. So, first of all love yourself for the efforts that you have made, so what if you do not get the pay hike or BMW? The least you can do is still love yourself for whatever you are. Pat yourself for being honest and accepting this emotion of yours too. Once you start loving yourself, it does not matter what others are doing. And while you do that, express gratitude for what you have at present and be happy with that. You will be a content person comfortable in your own skin 4. Be a sportsman. Every sportsman feels jealous when the opposite team wins but at the end, he gives a hand shake congratulating him. Be a sport and ask your heart to give an unbiased judgment. Send a message to that person saying ‘Congratulations about the pay hike’ or ‘Lovely pictures of your holidays!’ Appreciate it all aloud, instead of piping it inside your heart. Mind you, pretense will not work here. The moment you say it, you seize the power from others to look down upon you. The positive vibes that you send across will completely turn the negative situation into a pleasant one. You will be proud of yourself, and most importantly you will silently withdraw out of the unreal race. Because only those who are secure and believe in themselves have the guts to appreciate others and you need to learn doing that. And once you become that person, you are no longer stirred by jealousy. Sometimes being jealous can be converted into being inspired and a wise man will know how to do that, rather than lurching on its perilous side. Next time you feel jealous- smirk and say ‘I know what I should do now.’ ;-)
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